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The Pouty Princess Problem

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Remember that old Waylon Jennings song, “Mammas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys”? I’ve had another version of the title running through my head lately: “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Sons Grow Up Treating Their Sisters Like Princesses”.

Now, I realize it doesn’t have nearly the same flow, rhythm or catchiness that Jennings’ title does, but I think some enterprising young songwriter could get somewhere with the concept. Just describe a few scenarios of young ladies who feel entitled to be treated like royalty — of which there are plenty (call me if you need some good material here), add in some threats that boys will prove their ability to cherish their future wives by how well they treat their sisters, and provide a dash or two of selective blindness when the sweet little girls demonstrate remarkable ability to manipulate and coerce every male that comes within a mile of their wiles, and voila! You’ve got a song!

I’ve seen it more in Christian homeschooling circles than anywhere else, but I wasn’t sure what to call it until my son muttered his frustration with his friends’ catering to their sisters’ every whim. Obviously, it’s the Princess Problem.

Let’s take a moment here to address what I think is entirely appropriate. Young men should be embued with a healthy respect for ladies of all ages. This would naturally include their sisters. This does not, however, include behavior that lead these same young ladies to the very erroneous belief that they are to be catered to and regarded in every wish and desire. I have seen this princess delusion permeate a classroom, obliterate many a guy-bonding moment, and set wheels a-turning in the minds of younger female siblings. It’s not pretty. And it’s not biblical.

I get that the “We are daughters of the King” mantra yields therefore that we are all princesses in God’s economy. Well, no, not exactly, although it might be derived. God in His Word never once calls any of us lady Christians princesses. He says that we are co-inheritors with Christ, His first born Son. He says that we will rule with Him in heaven, and while that speaks to some position in regard to our relationship to our Father, the King, that does not make us princesses in regard to one another. The title is conferred by the King and not to be assumed by the crowned as an entitlement to certain lording-it-over-one-another behavior.

This is what I’m talking about. Dads, if you want your little girl to feel special, then by all means, call her your little princess. Mamas, if you want your son to grow up respecting women — and as the mom of three daughters, I would really appreciate this — encourage him to consider all people as image bearers of God and especially believers as being brothers and sisters in Christ. Not just girls, but all. It will naturally follow that the girls in his life — whether sisters, cousins, friends, coworkers, bosses, teachers, etc. — will be treated respectfully.

But if the atmosphere in your home is one where the sons must cater to all that the daughters want, you are not only creating a tribe of little sparkly-crowned monsters, you are doing no favor to those girls of yours. They might find the title that is most often referenced in Scripture for believers — SERVANT — a hard one to assume if they have become used to brothers always giving up their seats, taking blame and running errands for, and jumping to the crooked little pinkies of the household princess.

Grace falls from heaven on us, and graciousness flows forth when that heaven-grace transforms the heart from stone to flesh. It’s irresistable.

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. 1 Peter 4:10

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13

It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant. Matthew 20:26

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Phillipians 2:3

Just a little something I was thinking about while I waited for my crown.

my-dentist-told-me-i-needed-i-crown

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Written by mrsdkmiller

October 29, 2014 at 1:47 pm

On sociopaths and bullies….

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From Life News:

Why Do “Pro-Choice” People Attack Moms Who Don’t Want to Abort Disabled Babies?

Washington, DC (LiveActionNews) — After the horrific massacre in Newtown, I remember watching a news segment that asked where the increase in sociopathic behavior was coming from.

Sociopathic behavior doesn’t have to be as extreme as opening fire on a classroom full of kindergartners. It includes what we consider “everyday” acts of people stomping on (literally and figuratively) their fellow human beings. And there’s no better example than the treatment of Republican Congresswoman Jamie Herrera Beutler.

Last week, Beutler posted a message on Facebook saying her unborn child has been diagnosed with Potter’s Syndrome. This condition, which prevents the kidneys from developing properly, is typically fatal for the baby.

While many offered Beutler love and support, others took it as an opportunity to gloat or proclaim that the child should be aborted. Matthew Archbold, a writer for the National Catholic Register, collected some of the comments left at the Huffington Post and elsewhere. A few gems:

– Oh goody… and she’s GOP…. let’s all watch this one develop. Let’s see if she follows the party line ….

–Abort the baby. Wait a few months. Get pregnant again. This is not a big deal.

– Why not be proactive and get an abortion?

– Sorry, prayers won’t do a damn thing.

– She should just go to a Planned Parenthood and be done with “it”, after all, it’s not a human yet.

–I laugh at her in that her political ideology has her in a corner I would wish nobody in.

This sickening behavior – gloating over a baby’s illness and her mother’s pain – is more common than you might think.

Back in 2009, a young single woman, Myah Walker, learned that her baby had anencephaly, a fatal anomaly in which only part of the brain develops. Instead of terminating the pregnancy, Myah decided to carry the baby (named Faith Hope) to term, and chronicle her experience on a blog.

The response? An avalanche of hate. Entire blogs were created to slam Myah and her child.

The first thing you’ll gather from reading these blogs is that these people are really, really angry, because – well, I’m not sure why. Because Myah walked the walk when it came to her Christian beliefs and eschewed abortion? The hate brigade weirdly accused her of “bigotry,” ridiculed her for supposedly being date-raped by the child’s father, and e-mailed her lists of suggestions for how she could off her “zombaby,” who lived to be three months old.

Throughout the 2008 campaign and beyond, liberal bloggers and “comedians” hurled abuse at Sarah Palin’s infant son, Trig, who was born with Down syndrome. Jeff Stuef of Wonkette celebrated Trig’s third birthday by sneering, “‘Oh, little boy what are you dreaming about’…What’s he dreaming about? Nothing. He’s retarded.”

And it’s not just controversial politicians and their children who receive this sort of treatment after deciding to “keep” a special needs child. Just ask Live Action’s very own Cassy Fiano, who gave birth to her son, Wyatt, after receiving a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis.

“Online, it’s mostly the usual… people calling him a retard, saying he’ll never have a meaningful life. Stuff like that,” Cassy told me. “The worst is one girl who told me that I was crazy for having him and I should have had an abortion. Another person told me I shouldn’t have any more kids because Wyatt would be too much of a burden.”

What motivates these people to abuse women who have chosen to carry to term despite a poor prenatal diagnosis? I strongly suspect that many of them have been involved in an abortion – or know they would want one in a similar situation. It angers them to see someone make a choice they didn’t have the courage to make themselves. But it’s impossible for any normal-thinking person to really know what motivates them.

Like all good sociopaths, the bullies try to shift blame on to the victims, saying they were “asking for” such treatment because of their political views. Since a pro-lifer would “force” women in her situation to give birth, she deserves to be shamed and harassed throughout her difficult pregnancy.

But anyone with a normal sense of compassion and empathy would say that’s not just irrational. It’s evil. Few things are more sociopathic than abusing a pregnant woman carrying a terminally ill child – no matter what her political affiliation.

LifeNews Note: Ashley Herzog is an Ohio-based writer. She is a longtime contributor to Townhall.com and has appeared on FOX News’ “Hannity’s America.” This originally appeared at LiveActionNews.

Written by mrsdkmiller

June 16, 2014 at 7:35 am

Chelsea Kolz Boes: Writing hymns from experience

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He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, 
Gives unto each day what He deems best.

https://www.worldmag.com/mobile/article.php?id=30406

Written by mrsdkmiller

June 6, 2014 at 10:14 am

Surely I am with you all the days!

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Surely I am with you all the days!

(Alexander Smellie, “On the Secret Place” 1907)

Surely I am with you all the days, to the very end of the age!” Matthew 28:20 

The path in front of me may be full of flowers–or full of thorns.
Or, as is more probable, flower and thorn may be mingled together. 
The sky may be light–or dark. 
The weather may be glorious summer–or bleakest winter. 
But I go safely and happily, if the Lord Jesus, who can and will supply my every need, is with me all the days.

Some of the days will be days of discipline–of the pruning knife and the cleansing fire. But when He is with me, the discipline is a blessing, and not a curse. It teaches me . . .
  to grasp His strong right hand with a tighter hold,
  to pray more earnestly,
  to find heights and depths of meaning in the promises of God,
  to feel for others who are in tribulation. 
Mind and heart and character are bettered by the endurance of affliction.

Many of the days, too, will be days of monotony. They must be spent in little things–household labors, common concerns, unnoticed toil. I may long for a more striking and romantic experience. But when He is with me, I know that He makes my life like His own–the blessed life He lived among carpenters’ tools, and village streets, and peasant people. Thedrudgery is a love-message–it is Jesus Christ in disguise!

Every day will be a day of temptation. In the home, in the business, in company, in loneliness–I shall encounter the devil’s subtle snares. But let my Lord be with me, and temptation will but reveal the closeness and blessedness of the tie. It will be an instrument which He uses to impart more maturity to my graces–more courage, more patience, more trust.

Perhaps one of the days will be the day of death. But if He does not leave or forsake me, then death will be an ingredient in the training that fits me for the glorious inheritance! As John Bunyan pictures it–I must cross the ‘River of Death’ to reach the ‘Celestial City’. Jesus did it Himself, and the disciple is not above the Master. His Everlasting Arms will sustain me in the flood; and, on the other side, I shall enter the ‘Beautiful Gate’ and see His face!

ALL the days He is with me–to the end, and through the end, and beyond the end forever and ever! Whether I live, therefore, or whether I die–I am His and He is mine!

father and child

H/T Grace Gems

Written by mrsdkmiller

May 16, 2014 at 10:39 am

Melissa Edgington: The Morning When My Mother Got Up Anyway

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Another great Mother’s Day post… by Melissa Edgington at Your Mom Has a Blog

Your Mom Has A Blog

I remember one morning when I was in elementary school, I woke to the usual scent of some delicious breakfast baking in the oven.  Blueberry muffins, maybe.  I walked into the kitchen, and instead of seeing my mom on her usual perch at the edge of a kitchen chair, drinking her coffee, I could see her lying on her bed in the next room, pale and looking exhausted.

She was sick.  She had probably been up all night vomiting.  And, the only way she could feel remotely like she wasn’t going to do it again was to lie down.

Still, when she saw me, she got up.  She woke up my brother.  She took the muffins out of the oven and poured me some juice.  And every few minutes, she would go to the couch and lie down.

The usual morning rush commenced, and she ironed clothes and packed lunches…

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Written by mrsdkmiller

May 11, 2014 at 7:07 am

The Lowliest Are Expendable

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via 3RG.
dirty feet
It’s not something we easily relate to in our culture and time. Footwashing.  Without a context, it’s even harder to explain to children. And if you have children who, like the Wicked Witch of the West, seem to view water as a weapon of mass destruction, the likelihood of them “getting it” decreases significantly.
In the culture that Christ and his disciples lived, however, footwashing was an everyday necessity. Standard footwear fashion was sandals, and infrastructure in the Roman world, while improved and improving, had resulted in still only a few roads being paved. Thus, the daily journey to the market, the fields, the workshop or the temple built up layers of dirt on the feet. Moms then, being not much different than moms now, did not want that dirt tracking into their homes, so a basin of water sat at the entrance of every home for footwashing. Now, as most households employed servants or kept slaves, obviously this demeaning and dirty job was given to the most menial of servants or slaves, particularly when guests arrived.

After a long journey to Jerusalem, the group arrived at the home where they would be taking the Passover meal together.  Jesus had recently rebuked them for obsessing about places of honor in the Kingdom. He had just been received into the city as a King by fawning mobs hoping to stir up anti-Roman, pro-coming-earthly-Jewish-kingdom-ruled-by-legendary-Messiah sentiment. We are not told whether the routine footwashing had not taken place when he and the disciples entered the home, but at some point during the meal, Jesus took up the elements and donned the garb of a servant and began washing the feet of the disciples.

Philippians 2:6-7 tells us that Jesus “did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant.” This is evidence of that nothingness that Jesus made himself to be. The experts in the law of the Old Testament had drummed phobias about the spiritual disaster that accompanied germs and everything carnal into the minds of the Jews that it was unheard of for anyone other than the lowliest to touch dirty feet. The lowliest were expendable, you see.

Matthew Henry comments upon this passage:

Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, that he might teach us to think nothing below us, wherein we may promote God’s glory, and the good of our brethren. We must address ourselves to duty, and must lay aside every thing that would hinder us in what we have to do. Christ washed his disciples’ feet, that he might signify to them the value of spiritual washing, and the cleansing of the soul from the pollutions of sin. 

Peter reacted (let’s say it together) as only Peter could. “You shall never wash my feet!” Well-intentioned Peter missed the point. I would have, too. Jesus said, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” I can just imagine the scores Peter would get on the myriad of social network quizzes out there: always swinging from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!” Jesus replied, “’The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.’ For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, ‘Not all of you are clean.’” (John 13: 10)

Again, Matthew Henry:

All those, and those only, who are spiritually washed by Christ, have a part in Christ. All whom Christ owns and saves, he justifies and sanctifies. Peter more than submits; he begs to be washed by Christ. How earnest he is for the purifying grace of the Lord Jesus, and the full effect of it, even upon his hands and head! Those who truly desire to be sanctified, desire to be sanctified throughout, to have the whole man, with all its parts and powers, made pure. The true believer is thus washed when he receives Christ for his salvation. 

Peter’s words were the ones recorded for Scripture, but I imagine others protested. I wonder what Judas thought. I wonder if he said anything. We know that as the keeper of the money for the group, he was already critical of Jesus’ priorities and care for the souls of others, not approving of monies wasted on ceremonial attention to Him. On this, Matthew Henry says:

[W]hen hypocrites are discovered, it should be no surprise or cause of stumbling to us. … When we see our Master serving, we cannot but see how ill it becomes us to domineer.

The children in the catechism class this past Sunday expressed a wide range of reactions to having their “feet” washed by their revered and dear teacher Miss Chris. As she knelt with a mock up of basin, cloth and water (shoe shine kit and brush) and proceeded to wash their feet (shine their shoes), they looked perplexed and a little uncomfortable. Some giggled, “It tickles!” But as she lovingly served them, her message was clear: “Jesus is the King, but he is also the greatest servant of all. I am offering to wash your feet in a way that is similar to His offer of Himself on the cross to cleanse us of our sins.”

How easy it is to focus on ourselves! But in the shadow of the devotional posture of Jesus and how it warms our hearts, let us not forget that it was no burden for our King to take on the lowliest of tasks for us. He became the expendable so that we would be saved and made new. And as it was a task that we cannot even provide for ourselves, let us devote ourselves to Him who performed it for us, for only in Him can we be washed and cleansed of our guilt and made presentable for service to God and others.

“It is not humility, but unbelief, to put away the offers of the gospel, as if too rich to be made to us, or too good news to be true.” (Matthew Henry)

Written by mrsdkmiller

April 24, 2014 at 8:17 am

Immediate Access Unto God

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OWEN

Written by mrsdkmiller

April 24, 2014 at 7:33 am

Posted in Abiding, Grace Irresistible, Quotes

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