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The Pouty Princess Problem

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Remember that old Waylon Jennings song, “Mammas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys”? I’ve had another version of the title running through my head lately: “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Sons Grow Up Treating Their Sisters Like Princesses”.

Now, I realize it doesn’t have nearly the same flow, rhythm or catchiness that Jennings’ title does, but I think some enterprising young songwriter could get somewhere with the concept. Just describe a few scenarios of young ladies who feel entitled to be treated like royalty — of which there are plenty (call me if you need some good material here), add in some threats that boys will prove their ability to cherish their future wives by how well they treat their sisters, and provide a dash or two of selective blindness when the sweet little girls demonstrate remarkable ability to manipulate and coerce every male that comes within a mile of their wiles, and voila! You’ve got a song!

I’ve seen it more in Christian homeschooling circles than anywhere else, but I wasn’t sure what to call it until my son muttered his frustration with his friends’ catering to their sisters’ every whim. Obviously, it’s the Princess Problem.

Let’s take a moment here to address what I think is entirely appropriate. Young men should be embued with a healthy respect for ladies of all ages. This would naturally include their sisters. This does not, however, include behavior that lead these same young ladies to the very erroneous belief that they are to be catered to and regarded in every wish and desire. I have seen this princess delusion permeate a classroom, obliterate many a guy-bonding moment, and set wheels a-turning in the minds of younger female siblings. It’s not pretty. And it’s not biblical.

I get that the “We are daughters of the King” mantra yields therefore that we are all princesses in God’s economy. Well, no, not exactly, although it might be derived. God in His Word never once calls any of us lady Christians princesses. He says that we are co-inheritors with Christ, His first born Son. He says that we will rule with Him in heaven, and while that speaks to some position in regard to our relationship to our Father, the King, that does not make us princesses in regard to one another. The title is conferred by the King and not to be assumed by the crowned as an entitlement to certain lording-it-over-one-another behavior.

This is what I’m talking about. Dads, if you want your little girl to feel special, then by all means, call her your little princess. Mamas, if you want your son to grow up respecting women — and as the mom of three daughters, I would really appreciate this — encourage him to consider all people as image bearers of God and especially believers as being brothers and sisters in Christ. Not just girls, but all. It will naturally follow that the girls in his life — whether sisters, cousins, friends, coworkers, bosses, teachers, etc. — will be treated respectfully.

But if the atmosphere in your home is one where the sons must cater to all that the daughters want, you are not only creating a tribe of little sparkly-crowned monsters, you are doing no favor to those girls of yours. They might find the title that is most often referenced in Scripture for believers — SERVANT — a hard one to assume if they have become used to brothers always giving up their seats, taking blame and running errands for, and jumping to the crooked little pinkies of the household princess.

Grace falls from heaven on us, and graciousness flows forth when that heaven-grace transforms the heart from stone to flesh. It’s irresistable.

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. 1 Peter 4:10

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13

It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant. Matthew 20:26

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Phillipians 2:3

Just a little something I was thinking about while I waited for my crown.

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Written by mrsdkmiller

October 29, 2014 at 1:47 pm

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